Marriage, in its truest and simplest form, is the decision of a man and a woman to come together as one, to live, to love, and to journey through life side by side. At its core, it is not a dowry, not a bride price, not a court wedding, not a church ceremony, and not even a cultural display of wealth and tradition. These things may be visible symbols or celebrations, but they are not the essence. The essence of marriage is a covenant of decision: two people agreeing to bind their lives together in unity and foreverness.
Until humanity understands this simplicity, countless men and women will continue to suffer under the weight of societal expectations, cultural burdens, and religious manipulations. As Jesus Himself said in Matthew 11:28–30 (NIV): “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Marriage, in God’s design, was never meant to be a burden. It was meant to be a union of love, companionship, and peace.
The foundation of marriage is decision
Genesis 2:24 (KJV) makes this plain: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”. This verse reveals the three ingredients of true marriage: leaving, cleaving, and becoming one flesh. These are decisions, not payments. They are choices of the heart, not obligations of culture.
The prophet Amos asks in Amos 3:3 (KJV): “Can two walk together, except they be agreed”? Agreement is the seed of marriage. Agreement cannot be bought, nor can it be forced. The moment a man and a woman agree in their hearts to unite, they have entered into the essence of marriage before God, even if no culture or government validates it.
Love is not a transaction
In many cultures, marriage has been reduced to a transaction, where a man must prove his worth through money, livestock, or extravagant gifts before he can “claim” his bride. But Scripture makes it clear that love cannot be bought. Song of Solomon 8:7 (NLT) says: “Many waters cannot quench love, nor can rivers drown it. If a man tried to buy love with all his wealth, his offer would be utterly scorned”.
What then happens when marriage is defined by a price tag? Women become commodities, men become purchasers, and love loses its purity. This is far from God’s design.
Unity over ceremony
Malachi 2:14 (ESV) reminds us that God Himself is the witness of marriage: “The Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant”. Notice the words: companion and covenant. These are heart realities, not ceremonial acts.
Jesus affirms this truth in Matthew 19:6 (NKJV): “So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate”. It is not the court registrar, not the priest, not the elders that join them—it is God who joins two who have chosen to be one. The human rituals may celebrate the union, but they do not create it.
When decision ends, marriage ends
Just as marriage begins with decision, so it ends with decision. The breaking of a covenant is not in the court divorce papers, but in the abandonment of the decision to remain one. Paul acknowledges this in 1 Corinthians 7:15 (NIV): “But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace”.
The reality is that marriage thrives on choice and fails when choice is withdrawn. External structures cannot hold together what hearts have already abandoned.
Cultural demands that deny women marriage
Across the world, countless women remain unmarried — not because men do not desire them, but because their cultures place impossible demands on men. In some cultures, to marry a woman, a man must pay enormous sums of money, buy land, provide livestock, or fund elaborate ceremonies. These demands turn marriage into a financial mountain many men cannot climb. As a result, women — though willing and ready to marry — remain unmarried.
Proverbs 19:14 (NIV) says: “Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the Lord”. This verse emphasizes that a wife is a blessing from the Lord, not a commodity to be purchased. Yet in cultures that idolize bride price, women are treated as properties to be sold rather than divine companions to be cherished.
Consider the plight of women in such systems: they grow older waiting for men who love them but cannot afford the cultural demands. Their worth is tied to what men can pay, not to the love and covenant they can share. This cultural trap robs them of companionship, children, and fulfillment.
Women in cultures without heavy bride price
By contrast, in cultures where marriage is not reduced to financial transactions, women marry with greater ease. Men are not discouraged by impossible financial demands, and women are not trapped by cultural expectations. In such societies, the simplicity of decision—agreement between man and woman—remains central.
Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 (NIV) beautifully describes the power of such unions: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up… Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken”. Here, companionship is celebrated, not transactions. The focus is on partnership, not payments.
The contrast is clear: where culture emphasizes bride price, women wait endlessly; where culture emphasizes covenant, women marry easily.
Biblical examples of simple marriages
In the Bible, we see that marriage was often simple, covenantal, and decision-based.
Isaac and Rebekah: Abraham’s servant brought gifts, but the marriage was sealed not by wealth but by Rebekah’s decision to go with Isaac (Genesis 24:58, KJV: “And they called Rebekah, and said unto her, ‘Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go'”.. The marriage rested on her consent, not on payments.
Jacob and Rachel: Jacob worked for Laban, but note carefully—he worked out of love, not because Rachel’s worth demanded a price. Genesis 29:20 (NIV): “So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her”. The heart of the covenant was love, not transaction.
Boaz and Ruth: Their union was sealed through kindness, respect, and God’s providence—not through payments. Ruth 4:13 (KJV): “So Boaz took Ruth, and she was his wife: and when he went in unto her, the Lord gave her conception, and she bare a son”. The union was recognized in simplicity, not financial burden.
These examples show that in God’s economy, love and decision are the essence of marriage, not economic or cultural hurdles.
The suffering of misunderstanding
The tragedy of equating marriage with bride price or cultural ritual is that countless women will remain single not by choice but by culture’s oppression. Jesus condemned such human traditions that nullify God’s intent. Mark 7:13 (NIV) says: “Thus you nullify the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And you do many things like that”.
How many destinies are hindered because tradition has replaced covenant? How many women remain unmarried not because they lack love, but because their culture enslaves them to a price tag? These are the heavy burdens Jesus warned about in Matthew 23:4 (NLT): “They crush people with unbearable religious demands and never lift a finger to ease the burden”.
Freedom and responsibility in marriage
When marriage is understood as decision, it sets people free. Free from unnecessary burdens, free from cultural oppression, free from endless waiting. But freedom comes with responsibility. The decision to unite is sacred.
Ephesians 5:25 (NIV) reminds husbands: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” This is the responsibility of decision: love, sacrifice, faithfulness. Likewise, wives are called to respect and honor their husbands (Ephesians 5:33). The covenant is mutual responsibility, not one-sided burden.
The simple fact humanity must embrace
Marriage is a decision, not a transaction. It begins with agreement, thrives on unity, and ends when that decision is broken. Cultures that complicate it with impossible demands rob their daughters of love and happiness. Cultures that keep it simple allow their daughters to marry with ease.
The truth is that marriage, in God’s design, is accessible to all. It is not limited to the rich or the privileged. Isaiah 55:1 (NIV) captures the heart of God: “Come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters; and you who have no money, come, buy and eat”! If God offers eternal covenant without money, how much more should marriage—a human covenant—be accessible without money?
Conclusion
Marriage is not dowry, not bride price, not court registry, not religious ceremony. Marriage is decision—decision to unite, decision to remain, decision to walk together in covenant. Where cultures overburden it, women remain unmarried; where cultures keep it simple, women marry with ease.
The call of Scripture is clear: return to the simplicity of covenant. Return to love, to agreement, to unity. Let marriage be what God intended — a bond of companionship, a reflection of divine unity, and a sanctuary of peace.
When humanity embraces this truth, men and women will be free to love, free to marry, and free to build homes without fear of cultural chains. And then, as Ecclesiastes 4:12 declares: “A cord of three strands is not quickly broken”. God, man, and woman—joined in decision, bound in love, and sealed by heaven
