Different smells
Smelling different coming home than when they leave could be because they’ve been with someone else. You may also notice unfamiliar shampoo and soap scents. If your partner comes home freshly showered, not after working out at the gym, they might have been with someone else.
Secret emails and social media activities
Note your spouse’s behavior surrounding his or her email activity. If your partner turns away the laptop or phone around you, they probably have something to hide. As with secret email, a Facebook or Instagram account could signal suspicious behaviour, such as following provocative accounts or engaging in suggestive posts. Be wary when you express your concerns and they get defensive or tell you, you’re being sensitive.
Suddenly unavailable
When you struggle to reach your partner when this wasn’t the case in the past, it should raise a red flag. Cheaters don’t want to be interrupted and risk you hearing suspicious voices or funny background noises, making themselves unavailable by switching off their phones.
Sex pattern and love language changes
It’s common for cheaters to reduce the frequency of sex at home, given they are getting it elsewhere. On the other hand, the guilt of cheating may increase lovemaking at home to cover tracks, or to satisfy a partner so that the partner will not be seeking sex at a later time when the cheater knows he or she won’t be available. Also, reduced love language or emotional involvement in the home can be signs of cheating.
Paying more attention to appearance
A change in appearance could be to lose weight and present a new you with a new wardrobe, but the timing must make sense. However, if your partner is suddenly spending a lot of money on new clothes, and it was never their thing in the past, it’s not a bad thing to ask why. It should raise a red flag if the answer doesn’t make sense.
Phone habits change
This can include a range of things, like changing passwords or keeping the phone on them all the time when you used to leave the phone sitting out. In committed partnerships, it’s not uncommon to know your partner’s password or be able to pick up their phone to look something up on the internet or snap a cute picture if your phone isn’t nearby. But when your partner seems possessive over their phone or gets mad when you ask to use it, then something is amiss.
No ‘we’ and ‘us’ anymore
It’s normal in a relationship to speak about the future in terms of “we” and “us,” which means that the two of you see each other staying together long-term.
It can be worrying when you feel your partner is not talking about long-term intentions. While this sign doesn’t connote infidelity, it shows this is the time to chat and determine if you’re still on the same page and working for shared goals.
Varying and jumbled tales
When your partner gives varying tales that don’t add up, that’s a red flag. Truth is easy but lies are hard to keep up. For instance, your partner’s schedule changes with no good explanation tied to a new job, promotion, or project, raises a red flag. When your partner starts evading questions about movements or mumbling incoherent answers is very worrying.
Overly defensive to your questions
Relationships change and evolve. If there is an innocent explanation why some things have changed, there is no need to be overly defensive. However, a cheater may answer your question with a question like “Why do you ask”? or “Why is that important”? because they need more time to come up with an answer they can get away with.
Besides when a partner is edgy and highly emotional when you bring up the possibility of an affair, then it’s worth investigating,
Giving you more gifts than normal
Of course, loving partners give gifts. But cheaters take this to the next level to cover their tracks and guilt. It can be a way of comforting you that they love you and are devoted to you. Hence any subtle sign of cheating the partner uncovers can be readily dismissed.
Abruptly very critical of you
Cheaters try to reduce the uncomfortable state of inner anxiety and tension by trying to convince themselves that you’re the problem. And that can come out as being hypercritical of you out of nowhere. For instance, even playful jokes you both shared feel very cruel or begin to hit home a little harder than usual,
You notice baffling money issues
Unusual big purchases or baffling withdrawals can be an indication of cheating, but they can also uncover gambling or shopping addictions. So the best thing to do is confront your partner about it and see if the explanation makes sense. However, if the facts don’t support it or your gut feels strange, be on high alert!
Cheater becoming the accuser
The cheater turns the table and becomes the accuser. This is a strange but common habit of cheaters. The aim is to make your unproven behaviour the issue, putting you on the defensive and taking the focus off them. It also makes you less likely to speak up about things that seem off because you don’t want to cause a scene.
How to deal with signs of cheating
How do you know your spouse is cheating? This question is a major focus of this article. And in dealing with signs of cheating it’s important to address your feelings when you notice signs of a cheating partner. So, find a calm moment to speak with your spouse about your concerns and give him or her the chance to do the same. In all of these, communication and a lot of work are required if you both want to come out stronger on the other side of infidelity. There are no correct answers. The most important is a crucial decision about the future of your relationship aided by a couple’s therapy. This counseling will help you rebuild trust and heal.
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