How to navigate toxic dating and relationships in modern times is very much more demanding than it was in the past. Especially, your ability to cruise dates and relationships without breaking your heart, or missing your true love. This article discusses the implication of online dating on good old-school romance, which by the way is still the most beautiful thing to do.
Read on to learn more about how to navigate toxic dating and relationships including their practicalities, peculiarities, or otherwise.
Sharing negative experiences
Sharing negative experiences on a date can help you appreciate what you thought was a terrible date is not the end of the world. After all other people have been through the same experience. Hence in a positive sense, this gives you a sense of normalisation.
However, sharing negative experiences with others could also be negative. Because it means you rely on a single act or behaviour to measure the character of your date. This is not the right thing to do. Instead, you should learn how your date behaves and adapt to each other.
Invisible string concept
Popularised in 2023 by the Taylor Swift song, the concept originates in Chinese mythology and the ‘red string of fate’.
The perception is that a person’s soul mate can exist on the outside, without being seen by the other until fate brings them together.
The concept can help you persevere with dating, and remain hopeful, in the face of failed dates. However, the reality of the invisible strings, fate and soul mates are seen as nonsense by dating experts.
Beige flags
Recently the concept of “beige flags” of certain behaviours is somewhere between the existing popular red or green flags. The reality is that a beige flag is potentially an embarrassing trait or habit in a current or potential love interest. So, the key to maintaining a successful relationship is to at least keep them in the beige category, as opposed to red. How? Don’t get too irritated by your dating partner’s behaviour.
Masterdating
Dating yourself is becoming a common practice. Masterdating ranges from treating yourself to a movie, a favourite lunch or dinner, or embarking on roller skating outdoors alone.
Masterdating tests your self-confidence and inspires you to think about what you want. Besides, possibly help you become a better potential partner. On the downside, Masterdating can become a defence mechanism and you risk drifting into a passive relationship.
In general, Masterdating helps you understand yourself better, though it needs to be done with some sense of realism. For instance, in searching for a healthy relationship, you can’t just be the main character and think everything revolves around you. You need an evaluation of yourself from others.
Girlfriend effect
The girlfriend effect comes from a concept whereby men pick up awesome grooming and fashion habits after spending time with their girlfriends. On the flip side, women allegedly put less effort into their appearances under the influence of their boyfriends. Even show “radiance” after leaving a toxic partner or entering into a healthy relationship with a person who “adores them”.
The girlfriend effect has its controversies, with some arguing it constitutes coercive or controlling behaviour.
Ghosting
Ghosting is a behavioural pattern that can happen across all social circumstances where a person who used to be friendly or romantic with you suddenly cuts off all communication without explanation. Often when one loses interest in a relationship, ghosting is resorted to. This can cause harm to mental and emotional health and kill self-confidence. Most significantly, it can lead to pondering over what is wrong for weeks. So rather than ghosting, it’s better to let your partner know you’re not on the same page anymore and close the door kindly.
Stonewalling
This is an extremely toxic move often exhibited during conflicts or chaos in a relationship, whereby one person completely goes silent, and turns away from fixing the problem. Stonewalling can happen for many reasons. But, punishing the partner by not talking to him or her is usually one of the main reasons.
The scorecard
Have you ever kept scores of who made how many mistakes in the past? If yes, that’s an extremely toxic thing to do in a relationship. It’s very bad and toxic when you keep a scorecard of past events and bring it up to the present to embarrass your partner. So keeping a scorecard can make things worse in your relationship.
Blame game
Engaging in blame games and not taking accountability for your actions can create a lot of distance in your relationship. In the end, you undergo bitterness and separation.
Gaslighting
This is a manipulation technique used by one partner on the other where they are made to believe that their version of reality is wrong. This can create frustration and anger, leading to resentment.
Bottom line
With social media, dating apps and other mediums, it’s easier to connect with more people and screen the one who matches your vibe. However, because things can also go wrong in very little time, how to navigate toxic dating and relationships helps you understand what’s healthy for you. Having said this, it’s still good to keep an eye on relationship behavioural patterns that may impact you mentally, emotionally and even physically.
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/relationships/a46202205/dating-trend-predictions-2024/
Photo Credit: Creative Commons
Abiola is the founder of Indulge™ group of companies, a healthy-living focused group. A passionate believer in a healthy lifestyle, living in the United Kingdom made it easy for her to pursue a health and fitness regime. She is the Managing Director/CEO of Indulge Nigeria Limited and Indulge Cares Nigeria Limited, both companies promoting the benefits of a healthy lifestyle for the prevention of illnesses and diseases. Abiola is available on https://www.indulgeinhealthyliving.com/
