In the African community and the Christian world, few topics stir as much quiet controversy as prenuptial agreements. To many, the very word ‘prenup’ sounds like betrayal before the altar, a declaration of doubt in a covenant meant to last forever. Yet, beneath this emotional resistance lies a deeper issue — the clash between tradition, religion, and the evolving understanding of human responsibility, wisdom, and stewardship.
The African perception of marriage is a deeply spiritual, cultural, and communal institution. It is not just the union of two individuals, but the coming together of families, histories, and destinies. From the dowry ceremonies to the blessings of elders, marriage in the African sense is viewed as a sacred seal that must not be broken. To bring a ‘legal document’ into that conversation feels to many like bringing a foreign god into the holy shrine. The general sentiment is that ‘love should be enough’ and that only those who do not trust their partners or the sanctity of God’s promise will demand a prenuptial agreement.
However, this assumption is neither biblical nor logical. In fact, when viewed with spiritual depth, the Bible itself presents several cases of foresight, boundaries, and stewardship that align with the wisdom behind prenuptial preparation. The misconception comes from misunderstanding what a prenuptial agreement truly represents.
A prenuptial agreement is not a prophecy of divorce; it is a framework of understanding. It is not a weapon of mistrust; it is a shield of clarity. In many cases, it is the wisdom of Joseph — who stored grain in Egypt during years of plenty, not because he doubted God’s goodness, but because he understood the cycles of human reality. When God showed Joseph the dream of famine, Joseph did not respond with blind faith and say, ‘The Lord will provide’. He planned, stored, and prepared. In the same way, couples who draft clear agreements before marriage are not defying divine faith, but demonstrating divine wisdom.
The African church often confuses preparation with fear. Yet Jesus Himself said in Luke 14:28, ‘For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it?’ Marriage is a tower, not a tent. It demands the counting of costs — emotional, spiritual, and financial. The prenuptial conversation, when guided by love and truth, helps couples to count those costs honestly.
The root of the misunderstanding
Many Christians fear that a prenuptial agreement contradicts the covenant nature of marriage. They quote Genesis 2:24 — ‘Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh’. But becoming one flesh does not erase individual responsibility. God joined Adam and Eve, yet held each accountable separately when they sinned. Oneness in covenant does not mean blindness in stewardship. A prenup does not divide love; it defines boundaries of responsibility.
One of the great errors in Christian interpretation is equating unity with uniformity. Unity is agreement; uniformity is the loss of identity. Even in God’s divine nature, there is unity within diversity — Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are one, yet each performs distinct roles. Marriage mirrors that same principle. Two people become one in purpose, but retain individuality in stewardship.
In Africa, however, the perception of unity in marriage is more communal than personal. The idea of a prenuptial agreement challenges the cultural expectation that everything must be merged, owned, and shared, even when wisdom suggests otherwise. A young woman with a business empire or inheritance may be told it’s “un-African” to secure her assets, and a man who wishes to set clear financial boundaries may be accused of planning to abandon his wife. This emotional manipulation has blinded many to the principle of godly order.
The financial silence in African homes
The misunderstanding also comes from how Africans perceive money and marriage. In many homes, money is not discussed openly until it becomes a problem. Many couples enter marriage blinded by romance, only to be divided by unspoken financial expectations. The Bible says in Amos 3:3, ‘Can two walk together, except they be agreed?’ Agreement is the very foundation of marital peace. The absence of financial transparency is the seed of many divorces, especially in a world where wealth, debt, and ambition can easily choke affection.
Money, in the biblical sense, is not evil; it is a tool. 1 Timothy 6:10 says, ‘The love of money is the root of all evil’, not money itself. The reason many Christian marriages struggle financially is because couples do not discuss their financial habits, debts, or visions before saying ‘I do’. A prenuptial agreement forces that conversation before commitment — an act of wisdom, not unbelief.
African tradition historically emphasized transparency. In many communities, before a marriage could occur, both families would sit together to discuss dowries, land rights, inheritance structures, and future responsibilities. These discussions were, in essence, traditional prenuptial negotiations. Yet today, modern Africans call it ‘unspiritual’ when the same principle is expressed in legal terms. What was once regarded as communal wisdom is now rejected under the illusion of blind faith.
The Biblical foundation of agreements
The Bible is a book of covenants — divine and human. God is not afraid of contracts; He uses them to establish accountability. The Ten Commandments were a covenant between God and Israel. The rainbow was a covenant with Noah. Circumcision was a covenant with Abraham. Even marriage itself is a covenant — a divine agreement between two parties under the oversight of heaven.
In Deuteronomy 29:9, God said, ‘Keep therefore the words of this covenant, and do them, that ye may prosper in all that ye do.” Every divine covenant comes with mutual understanding. God never hides His terms, and He expects His people to be equally transparent in theirs. Thus, for two believers to sit together and say, ‘Let’s make our expectations clear’, is not a sin — it’s divine order.
A prenuptial agreement can serve not only as a financial safeguard but also as a moral compass. It can include commitments about faith, family, and personal integrity. It can be a way for couples to affirm, in written form, what they vow before God — to love, respect, and honor each other, not just in emotion but in decision-making. It can even include spiritual commitments, such as how the couple intends to handle conflicts, raise children, or engage in ministry. Such an agreement, instead of weakening faith, strengthens accountability.
The cost of emotional naivety
The danger in rejecting prenuptial wisdom lies in emotional naivety. Love without understanding is like fire without control — beautiful, but destructive. Many African marriages have collapsed under the weight of expectations that were never discussed. The absence of foresight has made bitterness the legacy of many homes.
The same community that mocks prenups often celebrates endurance in pain, calling it ‘faithfulness’. Wives enduring emotional torture are told to ‘pray harder’, and husbands betrayed by dishonesty are advised to ‘trust God’. But God never asked His children to endure preventable suffering. He asked them to walk in wisdom. In Proverbs 19:2, the Bible says, ‘It is not good to have zeal without knowledge, nor to be hasty and miss the way’.
In other words, enthusiasm without wisdom is destruction in disguise. A prenuptial agreement is not an escape plan — it is a safety plan. It is like wearing a seatbelt in a car: you don’t expect an accident, but you prepare for responsibility. Faith is not the absence of wisdom; faith operates within wisdom.
Transparency as a tool of trust
The early church practiced shared understanding in all things. Acts 5 recounts the story of Ananias and Sapphira, who lied about their possessions. Their tragedy was not about money; it was about dishonesty. A prenuptial agreement, in contrast, is a safeguard against such dishonesty. It ensures that both parties walk into marriage with full truth, knowing what they own, owe, and intend to build together.
Transparency is not a threat to love; it is its protector. The Bible says in John 8:32, ‘And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free’. Freedom in marriage does not come from secrecy but from sincerity. Many couples live in silent tension because they fear discussing what truly matters — finances, responsibilities, and expectations. A prenup compels honesty early, saving hearts from deceit later.
African tradition and spiritual wisdom
African tradition, when properly understood, supports transparency and foresight. Before Western influence, African marriages involved structured dialogue between families. The dowry ceremony was more than an exchange of gifts; it was a declaration of expectations. The husband’s family pledged to care for the bride, while the bride’s family affirmed her role and commitment.
That cultural wisdom is not far from what a modern prenup represents — understanding, accountability, and structure. The tragedy is that modern Africans now interpret these discussions as worldly. But wisdom has no tribe. Truth has no nationality. Whether spoken in courtrooms or family compounds, order is divine.
Even the elders of old would say, ‘Two goats cannot walk with one rope unless they agree on the direction’. That is precisely what Amos 3:3 teaches: ‘Can two walk together, except they be agreed’?
Faith and foresight: Partners, not enemies
The time has come for the African Christian community to balance faith with foresight, and love with law. Prenuptial understanding does not replace divine grace; it reinforces divine order. It helps couples build not just a marriage of emotions, but a covenant of wisdom.
Marriage is not sustained by prayers alone but by principles. The same God who sanctifies marriage also demands stewardship. A man who cannot manage his house financially is as unfit as one who cannot lead it spiritually. 1 Timothy 3:5 says, ‘For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?’ God values structure.
A prenup, therefore, is not anti-Christian; it is pro-stewardship. It is the practical side of love — the wisdom that keeps romance from becoming ruin. It does not kill faith; it confirms it. It says, ‘We are wise enough to discuss, humble enough to plan, and spiritual enough to submit our plans to God’.
Redefining love in the light of truth
True love is not afraid of truth. True trust is not threatened by transparency. 1 Corinthians 13:6 reminds us that ‘Love rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth’.
A marriage that cannot discuss money, property, or expectations before the wedding is not built on faith — it is built on fear. Faith says, ‘Let’s talk about everything so that we can walk in truth’. Fear says, ‘Let’s avoid difficult conversations so that we can keep pretending’. But pretense is not peace; it is postponement of conflict.
When love is sincere, it welcomes light. Jesus said in John 3:21, ‘But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest’. A prenuptial agreement is that light — uncomfortable but liberating. It compels both parties to stand before God and say, ‘This is who I am, this is what I bring, and this is what I promise’.
The marriage of wisdom and love
It is time to tear down the misconceptions surrounding prenuptial agreements in African and Christian marriages. They are not symbols of mistrust; they are signatures of maturity. They are not doors to divorce; they are foundations of endurance.
God expects His children to build wisely, not emotionally. He expects couples to enter marriage not with blind passion but with open eyes and open hearts. The Bible says in Proverbs 24:3-4, ‘Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established: and by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches’.
Marriage is God’s gift, but management is man’s duty. When faith meets foresight, the home becomes both spiritual and stable. When love walks with law, peace finds a permanent address.
In wisdom, we plan; in love, we build; and in truth, we endure. For love is eternal, but wisdom is its guardian.
