Marriage has been celebrated, preached, marketed, and romanticized for generations. Entire industries—movies, weddings, counseling, religious conferences—are built around the idea that marriage is a place of comfort, companionship, and lifelong bliss. Yet the more society decorates the institution, the more the cracks beneath the decoration become obvious. And it is in the middle of all this noise—religious noise, cultural expectations, social pressure—that Apostle Paul’s words in 1 Corinthians 7:28 break through like a sharp blade cutting through illusions.
In NLT, Paul says: ‘But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, those who get married at this time will have troubles, and I am trying to spare you those problems’.
In the NKJV: ‘But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you’.
The Good News Translation says: ‘But if you marry, you will have trouble in life, and I want to spare you that’.
The Message paraphrase puts it plainly:
‘Getting married isn’t a sin… But don’t be surprised if it brings trouble’.
And The Passion Translation (TPT) adds softness but keeps the truth:
‘If you do get married, you have not sinned. But those who marry will face many challenges in this life, and I want to protect you from discouragement’.
In every version, Paul is saying one thing:
Marriage is not sinful.
Marriage is holy.
Marriage is allowed.
Marriage is beautiful.
But marriage will bring trouble. Real trouble. Deep trouble. Human trouble. Emotional trouble. Flesh-and-blood trouble. Trouble that is not written in wedding programs or premarital counseling manuals.
And Paul says he is trying to spare you—not discourage you, not shame marriage, not promote singleness as superior—but simply to tell the truth most people are afraid to say.
The Troubles Paul Spoke About Are Human Troubles
Paul did not say marriage brings demonic attacks.
He didn’t say marriage brings curses.
He didn’t say marriage is a punishment.
He said trouble in the flesh—the human side of marriage.
Two people with two different backgrounds, expectations, wounds, habits, temperaments, visions, triggers, emotions, and coping mechanisms suddenly become one.
One roof.
One goal.
One life.
Two stories.
Two wounds.
Two histories.
This is where the trouble begins—not because marriage is bad, but because human beings are complicated.
Marriage forces a person to face parts of themselves they never knew existed. You begin to see:
• your hidden anger
• your childhood scars
• your selfish parts
• your impatience
• your unresolved trauma
• your insecurities
• your unspoken expectations
• your capacity to hurt someone you love
Paul was not warning people because marriage is evil; he was warning them because human nature is unpredictable and fragile, and marriage intensifies everything.
Why Many People Are Running Away From Marriage
You will not meet someone who is afraid of a wedding.
People are afraid of the marriage itself.
1. They have seen too much pain in marriages around them
They have watched parents live like roommates or enemies.
They have watched uncles walk out on families.
They have seen friends cry silently in their marriages.
They have seen people become shadows of themselves.
When you’ve seen marriage break people that you once admired, fear is natural.
2. They fear losing their identity
Marriage demands selflessness.
It demands sacrifice.
It demands compromise.
It demands giving up things that once defined you.
Many young people today are fiercely protective of their personal freedom.
They don’t want to lose their hobbies, dreams, career opportunities, emotional space, solitude, or even the right to make decisions without negotiating.
Marriage is beautiful, but it is costly.
Some people look at the price and quietly tell themselves:
‘I’m not ready’.
3. Many fear choosing wrong
Choosing a spouse is one of the most life-defining decisions on earth.
One wrong decision can alter a person’s path for decades.
People are running because they fear:
• marrying someone who changes after the wedding
• marrying someone who deceives them
• marrying someone with hidden addictions or anger
• marrying someone with unresolved trauma
• marrying someone who cannot communicate
• marrying someone immature or irresponsible
The world is full of cautionary tales.
Paul said: ‘Those who marry will have trouble’.
Today’s generation adds: ‘And those troubles increase if you choose wrong’.
4. Many have seen the hypocrisy of the church’s teaching
The church often teaches that marriage is a honeymoon with scriptures.
But reality does not match the preaching.
People see pastors who preach marriage principles but fail in their own homes.
They see couples hiding behind church smiles but suffering behind closed doors.
They see churches pushing people to marry early but not preparing them emotionally, mentally, psychologically, or spiritually.
Many young believers are tired of packaged teaching.
They want truth, not motivational doctrine.
5. Society has become too noisy
Social media constantly shows:
• perfect couples,
• perfect proposals,
• perfect dates,
• perfect anniversary posts.
But nobody posts the nights they cried.
Nobody posts arguments.
Nobody posts silent seasons.
Nobody posts bitterness.
Nobody posts therapy sessions.
The pressure of ‘perfect relationship aesthetics’ has made many fear the reality behind the scenes.
Paul said marriage has trouble.
Society says marriage must look perfect.
The conflict between truth and perception creates fear.
Why Some People Walk Away From Marriage
Leaving a marriage is not always because someone is wicked or irresponsible.
Sometimes people walk away because:
1. They entered with illusions, not truth
They were not taught the weight of commitment.
They were not told that love grows, shifts, and changes.
They were not taught that conflict is inevitable.
They were not warned that forgiveness is a daily assignment.
When illusions collapse, disappointment rises.
2. They were not emotionally equipped
You can be spiritually strong and emotionally immature.
You can speak in tongues and still not know how to communicate.
You can quote scriptures and still not know how to manage anger.
You can be financially stable yet emotionally unstable.
Many marriages collapse not from adultery but from:
• lack of emotional maturity
• poor communication
• unhealed trauma
• emotional withdrawal
• disrespect
• unrealistic expectations
Paul warned them—marriage brings trouble.
Emotional trouble.
Personal trouble.
Human trouble.
3. They were unequally yoked in personality and values
Sometimes love is present but compatibility is absent.
Two good people can marry and still struggle.
Two prayerful people can marry and still clash.
Two mature people can marry and still find it difficult to move in the same direction.
Compatibility is not just spiritual—it is emotional, mental, financial, and lifestyle-based.
4. They discovered their partner’s unhealed battle
You cannot marry someone’s potential.
You marry their reality.
You marry their wounds.
You marry their weaknesses.
You marry the version they don’t post online.
Some people walk away because living with someone’s unhealed trauma becomes destructive.
5. God never forced anyone to remain in bondage
Paul warned of ‘trouble in the flesh’,
But he did not instruct believers to remain in places that destroy their destiny, health, or safety.
When marriage becomes harmful instead of transforming, many walk away to survive.
Why The Church And The World Will Never Teach The Raw Truth About Marriage
1. Because truth doesn’t sell
The world sells romance.
The church sells ideals.
But nobody profits from raw truth.
Romance sells movies and music.
Ideals sell conferences and seminars.
But truth demands responsibility, accountability, and humility.
2. Because truth scares people
If churches preached Paul’s raw message—
‘Marriage will bring trouble, prepare yourself’—
many people would postpone weddings.
If society taught the sacrifice behind marriage,
wedding industries would collapse.
3. Because many teachers themselves are struggling silently
Some pastors cannot teach what they are not living.
Some counselors cannot speak what they have not mastered.
Some married couples cannot admit their own struggles.
Silence becomes a self-protection strategy.
4. Because culture prefers fantasy over reality
From childhood, people are fed fairy tales.
Nobody teaches children how to manage conflict, communicate gently, or forgive deeply.
People grow up expecting fairy tales and walk into realities they are unprepared for.
5. Because raw truth forces accountability
If you tell people the truth about marriage, you must also teach them about:
• healing their trauma
• managing emotions
• growing in communication
• developing empathy
• building patience
• controlling ego
• becoming spiritually grounded
These things take work.
And people prefer ceremonies to character development.
The Real Truth Paul Was Trying To Spare Us With
Paul’s words were not anti-marriage.
They were anti-illusion.
He did not want people to enter marriage blindly.
He wanted them to enter prepared.
He wanted believers to know that:
Marriage is work.
Marriage is sacrifice.
Marriage is dying to self daily.
Marriage is spiritual warfare and emotional discipline.
Marriage is two imperfect people building a covenant that demands forgiveness every day.
Marriage is a place where weaknesses are exposed before they are healed.
Paul knew something many people refuse to accept:
Marriage magnifies your humanity, not your spirituality.
It is easier to pray in church than to control anger at home.
It is easier to preach forgiveness than to forgive the person you sleep next to.
It is easier to serve strangers than to serve your spouse with humility.
Conclusion: Paul Was Not Discouraging Marriage—He Was Preparing Hearts
Paul’s warning is not a curse over marriage.
It is not a prophecy of doom.
It is a call to reality.
Marriage is holy.
Marriage is beautiful.
Marriage is God-ordained.
But marriage is also the place where your maturity is tested, where your character is exposed, and where your patience is stretched.
People run from marriage because they see the cost.
People walk away because they entered without tools.
The world and the church rarely teach the truth because truth demands preparation, discipline, and humility.
And Paul’s words echo through generations:
‘Marriage is not a sin… but those who marry will have trouble’.
Not so you will fear marriage—
But so you will enter it with eyes open,
heart prepared,
character strengthened,
and God at the center.
Because only then can the beauty of marriage outweigh the troubles Paul warned about.
