Peter Obi: Just an ordinary man

Peter Obi is a bizarre sight. He’s out of the ordinary; a threat in every way to the norm and status quo. At first, many, including myself, thought he was faking it. It will soon wear out and the real Peter Obi will emerge from this nondescript trying to con us for our votes. But months into this crazy electioneering, the man has not taken off the mask. The popularity and celebrity status has not made his head swollen.

We are not used to people like him. So, we hate him. We pray and fast fervently for him to fail. We want his road to be rough. If we have our way, we will erase him from face of the earth; act like he never existed. His simple life his making life complicated for us.

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Imagine saying that because he talks too much to ordinary people, he might be killed! The argument here is that he should avoid the people whose votes he wants like a plague. Body contact with the poor will make him poor and miserable like them. Poverty can be contagious. His television interviews are too much and full of lies. He should borrow a cue from the Jagaban: shun the media. He should see what Atiku is doing: reside in the luxury of his private jet and Dubai. Touch down only for campaign and disappear to France or the USA on some stupid pretext.

Both Atiku and Tinubu bestride our world Like a colossus, and we petty men walk under their huge legs and peep about to find ourselves dishonorable graves. Apologies, William Shakespear. They treat us like trash and the miserable poor that we are. And we love it. We love them for that. We are masochists. They are sadists. And it is a match made in Heaven, a marriage of convenience of some sought. See the crowd they get; the throngs of hopeless human beings that come out to pay homage to these gods. The more fraudulent and corrupt, the more the adoration. They throw money in our face telling us with sheer effrontery to use it to wipe away our sorrow. N100 million. N200 million into a ocean of abject poverty. It’s a case of ‘water, water everywhere but none for you to quench your thirst’. Hand therapy recommended for limbs that have become gangrene.

Listen to Tinubu: ‘the people should shut up about my education and focus on their problems and how to solve them’. Atiku even put it better: ‘the Northerners are barbaric. They have no asses to the internet. They just vote’. But Obi is not like that. He treats us with respect. He is a flawed character for that. He wants to give us the dignity we deserve because, if elected he will be our servant. He wants to hug the leper in us. But for that we abhor him. We despise him. We want to tear the name Peter Obi out of his okoro body. We are people that enjoy sleeping on a mat. How dear he put us on a mattress?

He is an ordinary man. We are not used to ordinary rich and important people. It is for us, an oxymoron in terms.

Ajasa is a public affairs commentator who punches his way through using satire. You can follow him on https://web.facebook.com/jaiyeola.ajasa