Popular Nollywood actor and human rights advocate, Yomi Fabiyi (well known as Araba) has said that domestic violence and gender-based violence of any sort is a “turn-off” for him.
This was just as he recommended immediate separation from a man who physically assaults his wife, fiancee or girlfriend.
Fabiyi made this known while reacting to the viral video of Akwa Ibom-based lawyer, Ekere Ebong, for physically abusing his wife, resulting in his arrest on the directive of the Akwa Ibom State Commissioner of Police, Olatoye Durosinmi.
It was reported that Ebong’s arrest was confirmed in a statement by the state Police Public Relations Officer, SP Odiko MacDon, on Monday.
Reacting to the assault video in a statement he made available to PUNCH Online on Tuesday, Fabiyi noted that for him, immediate separation will be his first advice to any victim of physical assault, especially when the man is the one guilty of the act.
He added that beating a woman turns him off, which is why he had never begged any woman to forgive her partner for assaulting her.
He said, “As for me, it is only when you physically assault your partner, particularly a man beating a woman you lay with that I will suggest immediate separation.
“Beating your lover turns me off. I have never begged a woman whose husband or fiance beats to reconcile. It’s not my thing. I don’t fancy such men (even though most claim they got provoked). Hear me out. My reasons include:
“First, you don’t hurt what you love. Secondly, the easiest way to find yourself in body bags is through domestic violence with partners. Thirdly, if kids are involved, it will destroy them. It is a serious abuse.
“Only a small fraction of such children will grow not to believe violence, torture, etc, are means of solving issues. Fourth, even if you are not caught, your hands will be stained with blood, and you are a murderer if you fight/beat to death.”
Speaking further, he noted that to prevent outright violence, it is advisable to immediately involve the police whenever a partner displays traces of provocation or violence.
The actor who is also the convener of Break The Silence Foundation, a non-governmental organisation that advocates the protection of fundamental human rights, also advised on anger control, stressing that acting within the ambit of the law is better than jail time.
“I would rather prefer you involve the Police immediately if you think your wife or girlfriend exhibits traces of violence or provoking you to turn violent. Self-control is key. Anger is controllable. Just act lawfully before you become a criminal. Don’t give that partner the chance to provoke you so that you turn into a beast or woman beater.
“If you indulge in violence and think involving the police is extreme, the moment you start trying to defend yourself and things go south, then you will realise the police will involve you, prison will embrace you and the very people you are considering will turn their back on you.
“Violence will never produce love. Most lovers who make up after violence are hoodwinked, motivated, or controlled by something else but not love. Love, don’t stay where it is tolerated. Love, don’t grow where it hurts”, he said.
He blamed some parents for spending too much time on social media rather than on their kids to instil the right set of discipline in them.
“Marriage is not for everybody. Only a few have gone through proper home training lately. Most parents are on social media than in the lives of their children and teenagers. These wards, too, are on several toxic and criminal blogs every minute they are awake.
“These blogs raise and mentor these kids. The percentage you invest in raising your child will be commensurate to how to you benefit from the same child. Say no to domestic violence,” he submitted.
