So many people are sick, blind, and stupid, and that is the reason why they will continue to die before their time, whether they are born-again Christians or born-against Christians. Let us strip away the religious hypocrisy, the sugar-coated pulpit lies, and the comfortable illusions that trap millions in cycles of misery, and let us look straight at raw reality. We live in a world where people expect fairy tales to substitute for hard psychological and spiritual truths, and then they wonder why their lives collapse.
When humanity insists on wearing blindfolds in broad daylight, catastrophe is not an accident; it is a mathematical certainty. Let us dissect the foundational myths of human relationships, marriage, and personal responsibility without flinching.
FIRST, DOES GOD EXPLICITLY WARN ABOUT CHEATING, SEX, MARRYING MORE THAN ONE WIFE OR MORE THAN ONE HUSBAND IN THE BIBLE?
No.
The Bible does not contain a single, direct, universal command saying “thou shalt not have more than one wife” or explicitly outlawing polyandry (multiple husbands). However, it heavily restricts and condemns sexual activity outside of monogamous marriage.
People love to read their own modern cultural preferences back into ancient texts, pretending that God spoke in 21st-century Western legal codes. He did not.
MARRYING MORE THAN ONE WIFE (POLYGYNY)
• No Direct Universal Ban: There is no explicit verse in the Bible that issues a blanket “thou shalt not” command against a man marrying more than one wife. Prominent Old Testament figures—including Abraham, Jacob, David, and Solomon—practiced polygamy without a direct command in the text stating it was universally banned for all men.
• The Reality of Ancient Patriarchal Structures: The patriarchal societies of the ancient Near East accepted polygyny as a standard socioeconomic and familial arrangement. While the New Testament emphasizes the ideal of monogamy for church leaders and points back to the original Edenic pattern of one man and one woman, the absolute blanket prohibition modern believers assume is simply not a verbatim quote from the text.
MARRYING MORE THAN ONE HUSBAND (POLYANDRY)
• Silence in the Text: Polyandry is not explicitly practiced or addressed with a specific prohibition rule in the narrative text of the Bible, as ancient Near Eastern and Israelite cultures practiced patriarchal polygyny rather than polyandry.
Look around the world. Cultures everywhere, including right here in Nigeria and various communities across Africa, Asia, and South America, practice both polygyny and polyandry. Nature does not bow to your sanitized modern comfort. Human beings have structured families in dozens of different ways throughout history, and pretending that every culture has always operated under modern Western monogamous norms is sheer historical ignorance.
SECOND, DID GOD EVER SAY THAT HE WAS CREATING EVE FOR THE PURPOSE OF MARRIAGE TO BE A WIFE TO ADAM?
No, God does not explicitly state the words “for the purpose of marriage” or “to be a wife” when deciding to create Eve, though the narrative immediately defines their union as the foundation of marriage. In the text of Genesis 2, God’s stated purpose is to provide a companion and helper, and the concept of “wife” and “marriage” is introduced immediately afterward as the result of that creation.
We impose our post-enlightenment vocabulary onto a text written thousands of years ago. God looked at Adam in his isolation and said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an helper meet for him” (Genesis 2:18). He did not hold a wedding ceremony in heaven before dropping Eve into the garden. He engineered a solution to a profound existential deficit: human isolation.
THIRD; WHO IS A COMPANION AND HELPER?
In the context of Genesis 2:18, a companion and helper (translated from the Hebrew phrase ezer kenegdo) is an equal, corresponding partner who provides mutual support, strength, and connection to overcome human aloneness. The phrase is broken down into two specific Hebrew concepts that define the role:
1. THE “HELPER” (EZER)
• Strength, Not Inferiority: In English, “helper” can sometimes sound like an assistant, a secretary, or a subordinate whose job is to fetch coffee and obey commands. However, the Hebrew word ezer is used 21 times in the Old Testament, and in the vast majority of those cases, it refers to God Himself coming to the rescue or aid of humanity (such as in Psalm 33:20 or Exodus 18:4). When God is called your ezer, He is not your subordinate; He is your ultimate source of strength and deliverance.
• Essential Support: An ezer is someone who provides vital strength, protection, and aid that the other person cannot generate on their own. It denotes martial strength, a rescuing force, and indispensable power.
2. THE “COMPANION” (KENEGDO)
• Equal Counterpart: The word kenegdo literally means “corresponding to him,” “matching him,” or “standing opposite him as an equal.”
• Relational Balance: Before Eve was created, Adam named all the animals, yet none was found to be kenegdo (Genesis 2:20)—meaning none was his equal in nature, intellect, or spirit. A companion in this sense is someone who stands face-to-face with you as an equal partner, sharing the same nature and purpose.
Together, a companion and helper is not a servant or a mere roommate, but a vital, equal ally designed for deep relational connection, shared responsibility, and mutual support. If you treat your partner as an inferior subordinate, you have fundamentally violated the entire Hebrew architecture of creation.
FOURTH; IN THE CONTENT OF CREATION, MUST A COMPANION AND HELPER BE YOUR WIFE? KNOWING FULLY WELL THAT GOD DID NOT FORM EVE TO BE A WIFE TO ADAM AND GOD NEVER CALLED HER ADAM’S WIFE.
If you read Genesis 2 strictly based on God’s direct spoken words alone, no—God never speaks the word “wife” or commands a wedding, meaning the creation of a “companion and helper” does not automatically require her to be a wife. However, biblical scholars and Jesus himself interpret the broader narrative—including God’s actions and the immediate text—as establishing marriage. How you answer this depends on whether you look strictly at God’s spoken quotes or at the text’s surrounding commentary.
1. THE CASE THAT SHE WAS NOT STRICTLY CREATED AS A “WIFE” (LITERALIST READING)
If you separate God’s direct dialogue from the narrator’s commentary, there is a strong textual basis for your observation:
• God’s Spoken Intent: In Genesis 2:18, God’s only stated reason for making Eve is to solve Adam’s isolation by creating a suitable partner (ezer kenegdo). God does not say, “I will make him a wife.”
• The Evolution of Roles: The text shows that marriage is a human institution built upon the prior divine reality of human companionship. Companionship is the substance; marriage is the formal vehicle that societies and covenants wrap around it.
FIFTH; WHAT SHOULD ONE DO, WHEN ONE DISCOVERS AFTER THE WEDDING THAT THE WOMAN ONE THOUGHT WAS A SUITABLE PARTNER, IS NOT?
Discovering after a wedding that your spouse is not the suitable partner you expected is a deeply painful and disorienting experience. The honeymoon phase evaporates, the veil of romantic illusion is ripped away, and you are left staring across the breakfast table at a stranger. How you navigate this depends heavily on the nature of the incompatibility, your personal beliefs, and whether both people are willing to work on the relationship. Here is a practical, step-by-step framework for handling this realization, balancing relationship realities with biblical principles if faith is a factor for you.
1. ASSESS THE CORE ISSUE SAFELY
First, distinguish between severe harm and relational incompatibility. Do not confuse normal marital growing pains with systemic emotional destruction.
• Safety First: If the discovery involves physical abuse, severe emotional manipulation, addiction, or infidelity, your immediate priority is physical and emotional safety. Seek support from trusted family, professionals, or local authorities if needed. Do not play the martyr for a domestic tyrant.
• Normal Friction vs. Fundamental Mismatch: Many couples experience shock during the first year of marriage as hidden habits, family dynamics, or communication styles emerge. Determine whether the issue is a solvable skill gap or a deep clash in core values, honesty, or character.
2. COMMUNICATE HONESTLY WITHOUT ACCUSATION
Avoid bottling up resentment or attacking her character, which usually triggers defensiveness and turns your home into a war zone.
• Share Your Experience: Use clear, honest statements about what you are experiencing rather than labeling her as “unsuitable.” For example, say “I feel disconnected and overwhelmed when we handle conflict this way” rather than “You are not the partner I thought you were.”
• Listen to Her Perspective: She may also be feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood, or disillusioned after the wedding. Creating space for honest conversation helps uncover what is really going on beneath the surface rather than projecting all the blame onto one person.
3. SEEK OBJECTIVE OUTSIDE HELP
When a marriage feels broken early on, two people rarely have the tools to fix it alone. Blind emotion blinds judgment.
• Marriage Counseling: Working with a licensed marriage therapist or a trained, objective counselor provides a neutral space to address expectations, deception, or communication breakdowns.
• Trusted Mentors: If you share a faith background, speaking with a wise, balanced pastor or married couple can help you navigate both practical steps and spiritual expectations without falling into ideological echo chambers.
4. NAVIGATE BIBLICAL PRINCIPLES (IF FAITH IS YOUR GUIDE)
Given your earlier questions about Genesis and marriage, biblical teachings likely play a major role in your decision-making.
• Building Suitability Over Time: In Christian theology, becoming a “suitable helper” (ezer kenegdo) is often viewed not just as a pre-existing trait you find, but as a role two imperfect people grow into through commitment, grace, and selflessness (Ephesians 5:21–33). Suitability is often forged in the furnace of conflict, not found ready-made on a supermarket shelf.
• Biblical Grounds for Separation or Divorce: While the Bible treats marriage as a lifelong covenant, it acknowledges extreme breakdowns. Jesus mentions sexual immorality as grounds for divorce (Matthew 19:9), and the Apostle Paul addresses abandonment by an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:15). Many theological traditions also recognize severe abuse or fundamental deception as valid reasons for separation. God is not glorified by the slow emotional execution of a human being in a toxic cage.
5. GIVE YOURSELF TIME BEFORE MAKING PERMANENT DECISIONS
Unless there is immediate danger or abuse, avoid making rushed legal decisions in the heat of early disappointment. Commit to a defined period—such as three to six months of honest effort and counseling—to see if genuine growth, accountability, and mutual respect are possible before deciding whether to stay or separate.
CONCLUSION: THE ULTIMATE REALITY
Cheating, polygyny, or polyandry are personal decisions. And God will never abort His mission because of someone’s foolishness, or moral disciplines. The universe does not stop spinning because your romantic fantasies crashed against the rocks of human imperfection.
If your partner cheats or decides to become polygynous or polyandrous; for me, it is his/her choice and it is simple; you either do the same, walk away; or keep quiet. Why waste your time crying over him/her who is living his/her life?
Stop playing the victim in a drama of your own making. Face reality with open eyes, take responsibility for your choices, and refuse to let someone else’s moral failure dictate the destruction of your own destiny. Life is too short, too brutal, and too precious to spend it weeping over someone who chose to walk away from the truth.
Join Sam Adeoye on Destiny Matters, every Monday at 5:00 p.m. Nigeria time on Tatafo FM Online Radio from LowerlakeCA live on Radio Garden: https://radio.garden/listen/tatafo-fm/2Xd4fNZN
Olumide Adeoye +2348037723500 Author. Counsellor. Pastor. Therapist
